by Little Nellie

Ok, so you know times are tough, when the superstars whose lives we revere are reduced to using AirBnB for their holiday accommodation. Your local celebrity correspondent is sad to report the tawdry news that after her recent break-up with the odd-looking, but nonetheless strangely appealing billionaire James Packer, Mariah is slumming it with the online service for the holidays.

Oh, silly you, of course she’s not kipping on the futon in a corner of some ski bum’s living room. Mariah’s rented digs are quite a bit nicer, and actually you can buy ‘em for $18 million. She’s pretty happy about it all, so much in fact, that she celebrated by getting her kit off for a quick instagram snap. As you do.   The thirteen year olds who work as reporters at the Mail clearly got their thesaurus out to describe this exciting event:

“The Touch My Body singer concealed whatever bottoms she’d got on and arced her sculpted legs, having slid into a pair of black boots.”

Oh – wait – what’s that cackling noise I hear? Could it possibly an Aspen realtor cashing in on some first class free advertising, courtesy of Ms. Carey, her ‘splashy purple lingerie’ and the Daily Mail?   Fa la la la la indeed!

Put some clothes on woman!

Not everyone got the “Aspen = Glamor” memo this year, however. Heidi was papped at the Gondola plaza today, “ sans makeup for the family outing” although have no fear, she had “styled her blonde locks with a natural wave, parted down the middle with split bangs.” That’s alright then.

Nice to see that Heidi and Seal are doing the civilized thing, having a ‘joyous family vacation’ , (according to the Mail). We think she looks pretty great, although it’s hard to draw the joyous conclusion from the stony faces in the shots. But then again, they apparently ‘waded through the snow-spotted streets,’ so accuracy in reporting is not entirely relevant here.

Confusingly enough, we learn that Seal announced that he has split up from Mariah Carey’s ex-boyfriend’s ex-wife. Her name is Erica, and we hadn’t heard of her either.

Things are heating up in our simple little mountain town!

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